Lastest Signs of the Apocalypse

Two things have occurred this week that I find highly disturbing:
1) On Monday, my high school's principal got on the PA during announcements to welcome everyone back. He mentioned that certain rule enforcement would be tightened up during the remaining days, among them sagging pants. "We have a problem with some of our young men exposing their underwear," he said. "We don't want to see your underwear."

Let that sink in for a moment.

"We don't want to see your underwear."

This is what supposed "fashion" has come to...teenage boys showing us their drawers, as it were.

NEVER would I have imagined a high school principal having to instruct students not to expose their underwear. What's next? "We don't want to see your genitals?"

2) Channel 5 News this morning ran a live spot in front of a local school. The subject was the impending "arctic blast" expected on Thursday and Friday, and the "policies" schools were adopting...ABOUT THE COLD.

Let me get this straight: we're about to encounter TWO DAYS of unseasonably cold weather. No ice, no snow expected. Lows in the teens and highs below freezing. And we're supposed to issue a POLICY?

How about this? Parents, what are YOU going to do in the cold? Keep the kids inside and make sure the heater's on? Yeah, NO KIDDING. That's what common sense dictates, and it's exactly what we're going to do.

To Parents and the Media: Please, please, PLEASE trust school officials to be decent, smart, caring people. Most of us are. You hear about the morons because they're unusual and therefore newsworthy. But we're all college-educated, and we have enough sense not to leave your children naked in the freezing cold. Give us some credit.

Ten Things I Hope To See Less in '10

1. Jon & Kate: Perhaps the two least-appealing reality TV stars ever. She simply seems evil, and he's got this notion that he's a ladies' man.
2. The Jackson Family: The favorite son falls into a life of obscurity and freakdom. Then he dies a tragic and shocking death, and now the spare sons have a reality show and Joe is plugging his new business ventures during interviews about Michael's death. Ugh.
3. Kanye West: In another 4 years he'll do something else controversial to get attention.
4. Sagging pants: Perhaps one day young men will realize that in prison, wearing your pants low means you like it from behind.
5. Lady Gaga: Is she even a female?
6. Miley Cyrus: Mediocre voice + Disney marketing machine = lots of sales to tweeners. But remember this rule: Tweeners grow up and their heroes/heroines fall into obscurity (Footnote: see Duff, Hillary)
7. The Jonas Brothers: There's something truly creepy about guys in their mid-20s playing to 14-year-old girls. Maybe now that the one with the receding hairline is married they'll move on.
8. The Twilight Series: I'm sure the books are good and the latest movie has some visual punch. I'm just tired of the overhype.
9. Glenn Beck: It was heartening to see stacks upon stacks of his latest on clearance at Costco after Christmas, because it means people aren't buying it.
10. Tiger Woods: Here's hoping Tiger tries to work in fewer ho's..., er, I mean, HOLES this year. (Wow, that still sounds bad.)