BAD MOVIES YOU HAVE TO SEE

1. Top Gun
Stilted acting, predictable storyline, dated soundtrack ("Take My Breathe Away"...wow). And Kelly McGillis...simply not hot. BUT, it's the blueprint for the classic Tom Cruise vehicle: hotshot struts his stuff, faces adversity, then *TA-DA* overcomes it and earns respect.
"You can be my wingman anytime." "You can be mine." Really? That's it? "You can be mine." THAT'S all you have to say, now that your former nemesis, who thought you were a cocky menace, now trusts you with his life? Unbelievable.
2. Footloose
Where to begin...the main characters are Ren and Ariel (!?!). Virtually every dance/music sequence is HELLA GAY, especially the Kenny Loggins "I'm Free" sequence. And in the closing scene, teenagers who've been deprived of dancing most of their lives suddenly move like pros.
3. The Breakfast Club
Ultra-stereotyped characters. (No teacher is that much of an embittered jerk) Emilio Estevez and Anthony Michael Hall trying to cry. Judd Nelson's alien nostrils. Yikes.
4. Dirty Dancing
Loaded with kitschy music, cheesy dialogue, and a preachy story. Johnny Castle, "Baby" Houseman...who calls their their 17-year-old "Baby?" "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." At least not until she has a nose job - then you can put her career in the trash can.
5. Rocky III
The original Rocky was brilliant. Rocky II...good. Rocky III? C'mon...Mr. T as Clubber Lang, saying "I pity the fool." Overemphasis on the hackneyed "training" scenes. And "Eye of the Tiger"...that guy's better on the Bud Light commercials.
6. The Karate Kid
Featuring "You're the Best Around," a song originally written for...Rocky III! "Sweep the Leg." The Crane Technique. And best of all, Miyagi rubbing his hands together to heal what is likely a torn ACL. (If only NFL players knew this guy.) You gotta love when Daniel and Ali kiss as "Almost Paradise" plays...oh, wait, that's Footloose.